and everyone would become someone in order
to become nothing and then everything
but noone could understand why it was taking so long
i mean when the frequencies rose like that
there wasn’t really much choice:
relax and check in
or go stiff and check out
both worked in the long run
but the ones – most of us – who checked out
were going to have to start over
new flesh, new fur, new teeth grinding up through new gums
struggling out from new mothers
tearing biting kicking
bloodied, battered into new days
having forgotten everything we’d ever learned
and so with new eyes with new resolve
begin again the journey – the only journey –
back into the heart

you live inside me
like a maggot in an apple
eating away at
all that isn’t real

Today I’m up against it
Nose to grindstone
Plucking out from air so thin
You can see right the fuck way through it
The strands I will be needing to make this miracle
Today I will be making
Save that wood for badgers and
Save the humans for each other

in the middle of april that year spring never came
when the crows had to put back all the sticks where they’d found them
and the trees never bothered unpacking
that year she was minding her own up by superdrug
you know where they drink diamond ice and scatter their needles
all over like christmas trees
when suddenly and out of utter nowhere
the anxiety which had been gnawing away at the back of her heart
for about forever and even longer
came busting up through bone flesh sinew
slicing through the ancient coat she walked the dog in
unapologetic vitriolic spewing into light of day
she knelt on the paved area made sticky from various spillages
and in amongst the cigarette ends and the careless cartons
she put her hand behind to touch :
Oh the nub of new wings bursting
shafts as sharp as plastic, feathers wet from birth
thrusting opening screaming in the broad daylight
she wanted to sit to take it in
but the benches were full
with everyone diagonal over two seats and shouting
so she took it home with her
and all the way she practised furling and unfurling
it had been quite the day
that day in the middle of april
the year that spring never came

the days turned to Days
and the old stuff fell away
don’t know why
got burned off
in the eye somehow
the film that draped everything
dreary as Sunday lunch
inside the grandfather clock
which would not
shut the fuck up
all that yes
got ripped away
and there She stood
naked, blinding
utterly herself and
bright enough i couldn’t look
she held out her hands
i took them and fell through
to see at last
she lives inside of everything
inside of him
inside of her
even on that shelf over there
inside that ridiculously priced loaf
of San Francisco Sourdough
Twelve Pounds What Now ?
Someone is having a complete laugh
and she is
and we are
and it is this song for which my heart has waited
for which we have all waited
patient as the fucking moon
eons ever
this

the shape got made from thought and
the bones of animals which had roamed the earth hungry
gathering food, seeking comfort
and growth came new again
and again it came
violent alive thrusting up through the old
shouting out its new shape
the new became old and
thoughts rotted and the jaws of animals and humans
which roamed the earth hungry
seeking food, seeking comfort,
turned white then green with moss.
there was only one way to see it
there could be only one set of eyes
through which to makes any sense
all sense (miraculous!):
Mine. Ours. Divine.