this freak-the-fuck agony !
what of it ?
it’s just the Beloved
calling you home

yesterday
Hanuman’s day
i gave up following the mind
its insistancies
its inconsistencies
its endless measurings
it has been talking shit
the same old shit
for eons
it still rumbles on
like a brook
miles below me in the valley
but i soar above it
without limit
free

i am training to see
all things equal
nothing either a blessing
or a curse
apparently that’s
how the Victorious Ones did it

the sky was alive with insects
which kept the swallows busy for days
i know it’s not very Dharmic
but i saw the gnats as concepts
and the swallows as the piercing kila of of awareness
returning the mind over and over
to its natural state
untarnished, clear
the dazzle of the All Good

i keep forgettin why i’m here
i ask my mama
she don know
i ask my papa an he don know
i ask the teacher the one who says You Are Enough
i ask the other one
the one who talk on laziness an life bein short
i ask my heart
an why is it again
i am here ?
an she say Love
for, from, because of an only
i say: if it was that simple …
an she say laughing :
Maybe

when i want to and i can’t
when i won’t but i want to
sometimes in that desperation
right at the edges of my place
there She is
the Everything I can never understand
the ins and outs of my endlessly breaking heart
the rubble of it all
the Everything for which
– my head pressing on the sweet sweet ground –
i am alive