leaves lie in the road flat as tears
you are still leaping in my heart
how do i reconcile the two ?

so I’m sat there like i don’t know how
a piece of what must sit amongst gram for gram the world’s most expensive fish
hanging off my chopsticks
when god walks in
he’s filthy skinny and his hair is wild
he’s up on crutches his trousers torn
his shoes all gaping in the front
and those toes have not seen soap in like forever
but there is no mistake: all teeth and no teeth
then those eyes
the ones which shout out anything goes
in front of which the angels kneel
and we’re all sat there saying No and looking at our plates
No Gracias to god and whatever god is selling
whatever he’s holding out on that tray
love or liberation or chiclets chewing gum
then there’s this woman
she’s got her hand out not even looking
and god goes over
all lopsided and grinning his unhurried crutches click click click
he’s lighting up this whole fucking place
and then we all can see it
we’re fishing in our purses in our pockets
holding out our coins
pick me pick me
there’s even someone crying
oh fuck it’s me

one time when I died they asked me :
and what do you regret ?
so I told them
yeah and maybe sometimes not allowing all of me to show
and they said go back then and do it
so i did

someone taught you once when you was just a babe
it isnt safe to shine
cos when you shine
you stepdaddy can’t keep his cunting fingers to himself
o is for oceans x is for x-ray and m is for mammy turn-her-back
but I tell you girl
you shining face the only one we got
when the sun aint out
which where I come from be more than 10 month in a year
so bring you stepdaddy here
an i go rip his cancer cunting balls off
cut his stupid fingers to they stump
toss them in an arc of yes
brightest shape them fingers ever made
and you get back to what you meant for
shining shining showing showing
exactly always what means living

someone ripped the soul from this country
ripped it out rolled it up
scarfed it down for lunch
hooters, denny’s, the world famous cinnamon bun company but
iguana won’t be blunted
he spins his eye on the roulette of account
blacker than the burned out suns
black for balance
we crowd about him snapping photos
leaning up against our jeeps
our tee shirts cry out Pura Vida
he waits he blinks he walks
amongst the bottles and the butt ends and the pepsi paper cups
the endless scurf left by our living
he sees he counts he counts he sees
then slowly climbs the last tree standing
i wish my cheeks would burn with what we’ve done
with what we do in every moment
but there isn’t any fight
i will go down with this stupid rotten ship

in the dark days you slept like a fox inside my heart
your red body curled around the seed
when the light came you opened up one eye sly and counting and slid out
i didn’t see you for 1000 years
and when I did your coat was torn
burned with every fuck and fight and every trick you’d ever used
you made to jump back up
i told you no. i didn’t have a choice
i loved you and 1000 years had been too long
besides when you left you scarified my heart
scratched it tore it scored it up all over until
in the place of hard a guild had sprung
and then a forest
planet after planet after life opening into itself
spawning entire systems of untamed
and i discovered myself so damned teeming – look –
i got lost in the wonder of it all